Heart Reading … Day 14

I forgot how great it feels to touch the earth!

I forgot how great it feels to touch the earth.

And pour out to her my heart.

Do you see? They are the same (word)?

Just slightly different expressions, like you, like me.

Today my heart wobbled for no “reason” and in giving her space to be noticed I was able to touch my determination — the adult part of me that has stepped in to help me come to grips with all of the many ways life might not make sense on the surface.

And in the past 24 hours I have been given some clarity about a thing Rumi (the Persian poet) is known for explaining — that we journey through life and then return to where we began, knowing its truth for the first time. What this means to me is that we begin life simply, pure and naïve. We then stray from this state of being in order to grapple and wrestle with complexity. And once we have plumbed the depths of complexity, perhaps to our breaking point, we again come to simplicity — but this time by choice.

What is hard about that is that we all hold complexity differently. Some of us want to engage others in the complex things we see and feel and others want to feel and face their complexities independently. I wonder if the inward facing option is largely due to not feeling safe with others.

I want to be a person others feel safe with. Maybe being curious about how others present or don’t present their notions of complexity can be a way of simplifying life?

There are so many ways to simplify. I am pretty well organized but I could purge a lot of things that have stagnant energy. I don’t need so many books, including copies of the ones I have written. And I am getting more comfortable with letting each day unfold as it will. Sometimes this is hard because many days unfold the same way and it gets boring. But little things like touching the earth again — which used to be a daily practice — can be big things. [As I am typing this I am getting flush in the face. Not sure if I feel shame about not keeping up the practice or excitement about bringing it back (probably shame).]

This feels like a lot for one day.