Heart Reading … Day 24
Remember to breathe into your heart before reading these posts —
I’ve traveled a lot in the past 24 hours — both literally in traffic and figuratively in relation to my primary relationship. This distance, this journey of heart and mind warranted a special picture for today’s post.
As I read through yesterday’s or some other posts that get right to the point, or have perhaps too few words for the expansiveness of the idea shared from my heart to you, I am reminded that we must breathe deeply into our hearts when we are opening to another, as you would be opening to this post and the potential it has in store for you. Let’s breathe together for a moment here…..
Doesn’t that feel good?
Last night I went to a comedy show. Ali Wong was terrific — I love her in-your-face sexuality (she literally wants hot men, ideally her comic contemporary millionaires, to cum in her face) — but the originality and artfulness of the opening act had me laughing more heartily. Sheng Wang has a voice that sounds like a big man; he’s tall but slight. He calls himself “chill” because he smokes a lot of weed (and Ali thinks that anyone chill is mentally vacuous so I’d love to hear them debate “chill”). Anyway, Sheng (pronounced like Shane) joked about breathing deeply — with or without pot in the lungs — as a very beneficial daily practice.
My partner and I did some breathing together today. It has been three weeks since we decided to take a break and over that time we have both seen some darkness (not unlike riding alone on the Dark Ride at Adventureland). The break, despite our longstanding and finely woven commitment to each other, took place in order for expressions of vulnerability to root and rebalance in our relationship. This is a lot; it is needed in all relationships.
Over this day I shared a bit about my personal rollercoaster in having reached out to others for “sapiosexual” intimacy — as an intelligent, independently minded, confident, middle aged woman (which Ali Wong expertly jokes about despite being only 39 years old). And I received both spiritual nourishment from the space of grace we co-created as well as insights that felt deeply rooting and rebalancing.
One insight was that of the art of weaving in relationship, which reaffirmed my gratitude for spiders. I have loved spiders for many years now (even though I grew up like my mother afraid of all crawling things except babies). I once held a tarantula in my hand and felt incredible love from her; I once gazed at a Black Widow in her web for an hour (on a summer solstice late night gathering of other powerful women…very cool).
The weaving is a constant activity; spiders weave webs and restore them all day long. I believe with more cooperation in this effort — and articulation of our individual intention to weave an experience — we all can enhance our capacity to root and rebalance.
There were many joys in this space my partner and I co-created. The biggest joy was reaffirming our love for each other (which are the words on the heart image I have most often used for these daily posts). My heart has felt mostly easeful today, beating effortlessly and energy flowing through my body as the words flowed between us (and a couple of moments were quite extreme!). Re-membering together truths like: Sadness and Hope are two sides of the same coin, and Pain precipitates Clarity, helped us to attend to and tie up, or weave together, a few important loose threads.
I touched the earth today again in gratitude, not as a “discipline” as it once was for me but as a friendly visit. It felt, like much of this day, easeful.
We all need partnership in order to be vibrational beings. How we define this partnership ebbs and flows constantly along our journeys. Thankfully the spirit community is always with us, particularly when those we seek to connect with among the human community feel distant.
