Heart Reading … Day 44

Expanding the heart through love languages

Have you heard about love languages? It is a concept that helps us to understand that what motivates one of us — even very intensely — may not motivate another — even remotely.

There are a few ways of expressing love, or languages, and when we reflect on and work with our own language — knowing that others have similar or different love languages — we become more competent at giving to others what they need to feel loved and asking from others what we need to feel loved.

Expressions of love language include physical touch, quality verbal communication, affiliation or spending time with others, giving and receiving praise, and giving and receiving meaningful gifts. Often people will double down on their love language within a relationship they are feeling a bit insecure about. This can increase the sense of insecurity as it may further alienate the other person with a different love language.

Today I overruled my love language and “spoke” my daughter’s love language and believe that demonstrated that I can hear her, that I love her in her language, and it seems that this has helped bring us even closer together.

Learning another love language can be challenging if we harbor any resentment about not getting our own love language needs met. And all challenges undertaken with the intention of growth and unity are always worth it. I am stretching and trusting and enjoying the effort. It is wonderful to have someone by my side witnessing my effort, but that is a bonus, not the source for the motivation.

The messages from my heart today are to not skimp when speaking another’s love language, to not have expectations (i.e. to give from the heart!), and to feel lightness in the act of giving. This third message came after I was laughing about how “loudly” the first two came through — almost like a full body admonition. So I will continue working on being generous and light hearted.