Heart Reading … Day 69

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH%*@#%

It’s a chocolate day. (when isn’t?)

I’ve eaten three really enjoyable light and healthy meals today — and two really enjoyable and not healthy desserts today. Its one of those kind of “hungry ghost” days where I just can’t eat enough to satisfy a void, or a foreboding, or a who knows what.

Is it the fall equinox?

Is it the end of summer blues?

Is it the full moon?

Is it just a good time to feel angry?

I called someone just to tell him I was angry at him. We yelled at each other.

As I attempt a heart reading the phrase half-hearted comes up. How is anyone ever half-hearted? I know it’s a euphemism but does the heart really function half-capacity when it is in an emotionally dysregulated state? It reminds me of the feeling I had the other day while looking up to the gorgeous blue sky with white fluffy clouds but not able to feel joy even though I was willing myself to.

I had wanted this day’s heart reading to be a really cool reflection on the sexual position known as 69 — in honor of this 69th daily practice — but it’s not happening … in more ways than one.

Time for more chocolate.