Heart Reading … Day 9

The only goal I set for myself this weekend was to do the finances and the insurance reimbursements I’d been putting off for months. I spent nearly four hours on this and only started getting agitated after taking photos of the documentation needed and uploading them (file size too large and somehow one was “corrupted”), taking screenshots and figuring out a better way to batch pharmacy items instead of the one-at-a-time chore, and then having the whole ordeal disappear — twice!

The portal was now somehow offline.

This gave me actual heartburn, which I’m not accustomed to having. It is fascinating to be in week two of this Heart Reading practice, of attending to my heart as a dear friend I care for steadily — as a tiny gesture of reciprocity for the steady beat it has given me every moment of my life. This daily practice is slowly moving me toward more subtle, more meaningful goals like, “to exhale more intentionally.”

The agitation that I have felt for years about expanding my heart energy — and not “being able to” — is dissolving through more intention and clearer communication (along with a hefty dose of longstanding self-advocacy).

At the moment (I know how fast the emotional winds change) I am content and peaceful. I am feeling a fuller sensation of the expansive potential I have yearned for, and believed was possible.