Heart Reading … Day 96

Before energy comes power

One of the last remaining places to find peace and quiet and sunshine are the carved out forests where the transmissions lines run to connect all dwellings and buildings to the grid — the power — that has been monopolized by some of the richest white men on the planet.

As I mentioned in yesterday’s heart reading, I had written a post about energy — and still want to post it here … but not today … still. I am unable to feel ready to post it because energy is so complex and the subject of power has to come first.

The first image that comes to my mind as I think about power personified is the woman named Stands With Fist in the movie Dances with Wolves — not that this character embodies power in my mind, just that the fight essence of a fist is part of my cultural construct. But this kind of power, as hard earned as it may be, is not the kind of power I am marinating about today.

I have just attended an important presentation by Mass Peace Action titled, “Solar Gone Wrong: Solar v. Forests: A False Choice Confirmation” and feel fortified by the truth so many smart and compassionate people are holding about the machinations of false climate solutions. It is utterly revolting to consider how the perpetrators of climate chaos are still calling the shots.

Massachusetts’ Governor, Charlie Baker, has just handed the keys of negotiating energy prices for the state over to the investor owned utilities which have held a monopoly on power since they were established. They are not only strategically squeezing out all of the small, sustainable, solar installers (like my company), they are strategically destroying the planet for their shareholders’ pocketbooks — as if they need to be any fatter.

I feel as though I have wasted my entire professional life trying to fight the opaque and illogical power-mongering that goes on in the finance and energy sectors. But having “invested” so much of my “energy” in these arenas has helped me to understand in no uncertain terms that there are only a small number of wizards in this oz scheme along the gold brick road. And that has left the rest of us fighting amongst ourselves … which keeps our energies perpetually preoccupied.

It is critical that this “soft diplomacy” of power profit pandering be called out by any means necessary. XR anchored a pink boat in front of Governor Baker’s driveway so he couldn’t go to work until he agreed to their demands — and there are many other courageous and rebellious actions they are organizing.

The Indigenous People vs. Fossil Fuels protests in Washington D.C. are also courageous and rebellious actions to witness and digest — so that we may all become equally agitated for truth and justice. The level of environmental abuse perpetrated locally, regionally, nationally, and globally by energy power bastards (not the 99% of the day to day workers — though they should certainly strike and protest their employment) is beyond words.

OK so I apologize for my anger…sort of. I am sorry it has come to this. I am sorry for my complicity in not calling bullshit all of my life. I am sorry for being weak in the face of patriarchal intimidation. But my heart is on fire with rage over the suffering felt by all marine life, all feathered and four leggeds, all plant life, all life everywhere.

Hopefully tomorrow I’ll write about energy.

My pulse is felt intensely right now in every part of my body — not like an angry experience of being riled up. My eyes are twitching from too much electronic exposure and it seems to be rippling all the way to my feet.

Thankfully I am still feeling the connection to my family of mindfulness practitioners whom I sat with (virtually) this morning. We talked about closing doors — physically and metaphorically. I vowed to really attend to the doors I pass through and open and close. I give myself a C- for the day. But I am determined to fully explore this (door) practice and any mindfulness practice that can bring peace and joy to my body and mind — so that I can more fully revere and protect the Life that needs (all of) our direct action.